Aphrodite's Message
by Dreamstar's Courage
Summary: DMC never happened. Elizabeth must decide between Will and Jack, and is caught. How can she choose between two such fine men? That's when Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, comes in... rated T just in case
1. Chapter 1

**_Aphrodite's Message_**

_**Summary: DMC didn't happen. When Jack Sparrow comes to visit, Elizabeth starts to doubt her feelings toward Will. But at the same time, she doubts her feelings for Jack. That's when a strange woman appears. A woman named Aphrodite. The Goddess of Love. She's here to help Elizabeth find where her true feelings lie, and even find out which of those two men truly love her...**_

_**Disclaimer: If I owned Jack and Will... well, it'd be VERY interesting. And if I owned all of this, I'd tell you who I would get together. But I won't tell you... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ha.**_

_**Chapter One: Unexpected**_

Elizabeth Swann smiled softly as her fiance, Will Turner, broke the kiss they had been sharing.

"Nice to see you, Mr. Turner," She giggled, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Likewise, Miss Swann," He smirked. But Elizabeth couldn't help notice the worried look in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"I think- I think I saw the _Black Pearl_." He whispered. Elizabeth looked around her house to make sure that nobody was listening in, especially the gossipy maids.

"How could that be?" She hissed, "Jack was supposed to-"

Will shook his head. "Since when does Jack listen to good reasoning?"

"True."

Six months ago, Captain Jack Sparrow had drawn Will and Elizabeth into one of his schemes, and that had led into a huge adventure to rescue Elizabeth and get the _Pearl _back. But you all know that. Let's get to the _real _story.

"I would have at least thought that Gibbs would put some sense into him," Elizabeth sighed.

Will grinned. "My money was on that woman named Anamaria. Quite fiesty."

Elizabeth looked thoughtful. "Why would he be here?" She asked.

Will shrugged. "Just to see us, I guess."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "That's quite unlikely, I'm afraid."

"Oh, is it now?" A familar voice came. The two whirled around to see Jack Sparrow himself standing in the doorway.

"How-why-what!" Elizabeth spluttered.

"You know, this place has really bad security," Jack commented, walking over to her. He eyed Will.

"And really, your father leaving you alone with a man? Tsk, tsk, Miss Swann."

"Where's the ship?" Will asked. Elizabeth noticed that he had a very controlled voice, but there was a note of excitement in it. She knew that Will was having a hard time deciding where his path lay.

"She's hidden off in a cave," Jack said conversationally, "With skeletons and all of that. Not much gold to be found."

"So you're here for gold?" Will sounded somewhat relieved, for some reason.

"Actually," Jack answered, turning to Elizabeth, "I came here for the wedding. Congratulations, by the way."

He smiled eerily and kissed Elizabeth's hand. For some reason, she felt a strange burning sensation traveling up her spine as he did this.

"Mr.-"

"**_Captain_**."

"Captain Sparrow, I really do think that it would be best if you went into better hiding."

Jack arched an eyebrow. "Please, Elizabeth, talk to me like you're a normal human being."

She sighed. "You need to go back to the ship, and get a disguise."

"That would make things a lot easier," Will agreed.

"Fine," Jack muttered, "Just meet me at the ship tonight. We'll... catch up on old times."

"What old times?" Elizabeth laughed. But as she looked at Jack's face, she wondered why she felt that strange feeling.

---------------------------

The crew really was quite restless when not sailing. Gibbs was slopping rum all over himself. Cotton had a nervous twitch in his eye, and his parrot kept on saying

"Barbossa's a pathetic monkey"

which Gibbs translated to

"I'm incredibly nervous".

But Anamaria was the scariest of all. She was acting like a village mother, trying to make meals and laughing at the stupidest things. Needless to say, her cooking sent most of the crew to the edge of the boat so that they could throw up, but she seemed oblivious to that.

Elizabeth sat on a stool, tapping her foot as Gibbs prepared to make a toast. Everyone was too afraid of what Jack would say.

"To Ell and Willezabeth," He slurred, "And most importantly, to rum!"

With that, he fell over. Most of the crew cheered in agreement to this, but soon went silent as Anamaria bustled -yes 'bustled'- over.

"I can't believe you would do this to yourself," She muttered fondly to herself as she dragged Gibbs into the galleys.

Jack stood up, looking a bit stunned that for once, he was sober enough to make a proper toast.

"To Will and Elizabeth!"

Everyone agreed and clinked glasses. Elizabeth lay her head against Will's shoulder, but couldn't help seeing Jack's face as he stared at her.

It had a look of sorrow and passion in it behind that humorous mask.

What Jack didn't know was that someone was looking at him the same way.

--------------------

Elizabeth walked down the stairs silently, contemplating what had gone on. She and Will were about to leave, which was a good thing, for then she could be out of Sparrow's sight, and she wouldn't have those strange feelings.

"Elizabeth?" Came a husky voice from behind her as she reached the bottom.

Elizabeth turned.

Only to be swept up into the arms of Jack Sparrow, and have his come to hers.

---------------

_**This story could go both ways, I guess. My second one technically, but I deleted the other POTC fic I had going...**_


	2. Two Fine Men

**_Aphrodite's Message_**

_**Summary: DMC didn't happen. When Jack Sparrow comes to visit, Elizabeth starts to doubt her feelings toward Will. But at the same time, she doubts her feelings for Jack. That's when a strange woman appears. A woman named Aphrodite. The Goddess of Love. She's here to help Elizabeth find where her true feelings lie, and even find out which of those two men truly love her...**_

_**Disclaimer: If I owned Jack and Will... well, it'd be VERY interesting. And if I owned all of this, I'd tell you who I would get together. But I won't tell you... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ha.**_

_**Chapter Two: Two Fine Men**_

Elizabeth was willing herself to pull away, but for some strange reason... she couldn't. She found herself melting in Jack's arms and sighing. But her common sense suddenly caught up with her, and she jerked away, eyes wide with amazment as Jack smirked at her.

"Why thank you, Elizabeth."

"You rat," She hissed in his face, but couldn't help faltering. "W-what happened to 'coming to see the wedding'? With this going on, there'll be no wedding!"  
"Exactly," Jack said proudly. "Dear William is a good man, but surely you want more, Elizabeth."

"I have enough," She whispered. But did she?

"Sure you do," Jack smiled, "But I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, lass. I get what I want."

And he left Elizabeth standing alone, shivering at his touch.

--------------------------------------

"I will be faithful," Elizabeth muttered to herself as she stacked some of her clothes. Will had(unfortunately) negotiated an agreement so that they would be voyaging with Jack Sparrow.

It was too bad that this was all Jack's doing so that he could capture Turner's bride-to-be.

Elizabeth smiled slightly as a pair of arms went around her waist, and she turned to find Will. She laced her arms around his neck, gazing at his face. It was certain that Will was every bit as handsome as Jack, maybe even more so. But Jack _wanted _her. Did Will have that wanting? Was it puppy love?

But Elizabeth closed her eyes contentedly as Will kissed her, as if nothing was going on. Well, Will kissed every bit as good as Jack as well.

_No,_ Elizabeth thought to herself, _I can't think of Jack kissing me. Especially when I'm kissing Will._

She soon found herself passionately responding to the kiss, just as she had with Sparrow. Maybe she didn't have feelings for him at all...

After they broke the kiss, Will murmured in her ear

"It's time to go."

Elizabeth sighed. Will said that Jack needed him for the voyage, but was it more? No, Will would probably remain a blacksmith. Which life did she want, Jack's wild one, or Will's placid one?

As she followed Will out the door, him carrying her bags affectionately, Elizabeth really wondered. Which man did she love?

And which man loved her?

----------------------

As they sailed, there was a noticeable change in the crew, which was first noticed when Jack asked Anamaria to make him something to eat.

"Make it yourself, you filthy creature!" She yelled, slapping him.

Yes, things were back to normal.

Elizabeth walked to the edge of the ship and looked into the sea. She then turned and looked at Jack and Will, who were talking conversationally to each other. How could Jack be so... cruel? Talk to a man like they were friends one minute, kissing his fiancee the next?

"They're both fine men," Came a voice. Elizabeth turned to see Anamaria.

"Yes," She whispred, "Two fine men."

"You aren't having doubts, are you?" Anamaria asked. Elizabeth shook her head quickly.

"Anamaria, how did you get to know Jack anyway?"

The african woman shrugged. "I was taken prisoner, as a slave in Tortuga, where Jack was. Jack and I got... got closer... and finally, when I thought he was in love with me, he tricked me and stole my boat."

Anamaria stared squarely at Elizabeth.

"There's something you need to know about Jack Sparrow. When he loved a woman, he really loves her. But if he doesn't, he doesn't."

Elizabeth felt her heart turn cold with fear. If Jack loved her...

'I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. I get what I want.'

-------------

Elizabeth sighed as she sat down on her bed that night.

"Who do I love?" She sighed to herself. The door to her cabin suddenly swung open. She turned sharply to see Jack waltzing in.

"So, have you thought about my offer?" He grinned.

"What offer?" Elizabeth asked, her voice cold but shaky.

"My offer to take you away from Turner, and let you marry me."  
"You really are a vain creature, Jack."

"I know," He whispered, his mouth near her neck. She flinched at his breath touching her skin. "But that's why you can't resist me."

With that, he walked off.

That's when a sweet, mischeivous voice came.

"Tsk, tsk, Elizabeth. Whatever happened to that refined British lady?"

-------------

_**Who do you think it is? R and R!**_


	3. Aphrodite

**_Aphrodite's Message_**

_**Summary: DMC didn't happen. When Jack Sparrow comes to visit, Elizabeth starts to doubt her feelings toward Will. But at the same time, she doubts her feelings for Jack. That's when a strange woman appears. A woman named Aphrodite. The Goddess of Love. She's here to help Elizabeth find where her true feelings lie, and even find out which of those two men truly love her...**_

_**Disclaimer: If I owned Jack and Will... well, it'd be VERY interesting. And if I owned all of this, I'd tell you who I would get together. But I won't tell you... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ha.**_

_**Chapter Three: Aphrodite**_

Elizabeth turned around and gasped.

"Who are you?"

A woman stood smiling at her, looking like she had no care in the world. She was very beautiful, tall and slender, with pale skin like the color of the moon, sapphire blue eyes, and wavy black hair.

"My name is Aphrodite," She stated.

Elizabeth looked at her blankly. "Aphro-who?"

The woman rolled her eyes. "Curse the British," She muttered under her breath. "Of course, the Greeks(a/n: Either that or the Romans) worshipped me, but but the people nowadays? No."

"What are you talking about, and how did you get on this ship!" Elizabeth screamed.

"Look," Aphrodite sighed, "Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, fertility, all of that useless stuff..." She gave Elizabeth a bright smile. "I'm here to help you discover who you love."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "I must have eaten too much of Anamaria's cooking last night..." She murmured.

But Aphrodite did look a bit like she was a goddess. With her beauty, the way she was dressed-a strapless white slip.

"All right," Elizabeth finally agreed, "You're a goddess. Now, who do I love?"

"That's for me to know, and you to find out."

"What! Surely you can tell me."

Aphrodite looked reminisent. "Ah, yes, I could, but with that Queen Guinevere incident... I told her that she really loved Lancelot, and that kingdom went up in flames..."

She turned back to Elizabeth. "All I can tell you is, you'll have a hard time."

"Really?" Elizabeth asked sarcastically.

"Now," Aphrodite said, "Let's go over the facts." An image of Jack was conjured up into thin air, making Elizabeth gasp in shock. Aphrodite wrinkled her nose.

"Oh, get over it," She sighed, "This is, as you know, Jack Sparrow. Is a pirate, probably no real plans for the future, and toys with women's hearts. But, maybe you love him. Does he love you? Hmm..."

The image of Jack was replaced by one of Will.

"Will Turner. Blacksmith's apprentice, but has a secret longing to be a pirate. Infatuated with you from day one. But does he love you?"

"That was a great help," Elizabeth grumbled.

"Hey, there are more tests," Aphrodite said defensively.

"Like...?"

"Let's look back on your life," Aphrodite smirked, "Who saved your life. Oh, tsk tsk, both did... Hmm, which one have you kissed? Ah, both _again_. But you can't love both of them, right Elizabeth?"  
"Right."

Aphrodite flipped her hair. "This'll be the most fun I've had in centuries! I'll be back, have to go play tennis with Loki."

"Tennis?" Elizabeth asked.

"Future game," Aphrodite supplied, "Too bad it's Loki I have to play with, the jerk always hits on me, and his disguise is an old man!"

With that, she was gone.

---------------------------------------

Elizabeth wandered on deck that night, thinking of the day's incidents. That's when she disocovered it. A ring that was much smaller than the one Will had given her. Just tied to the rail.

And next to it was a note.

_Marry me, Elizabeth?_

_**Captain** Jack Sparrow_

Elizabeth gasped, and a familar voice came in an excited tone.

"Hey, that's what Loki did with me!"

------------

_**Yes, I know it's short, just had to introduce Aphrodite. Btw, Loki is the God of Mischief.**_


	4. Problematic Indeed

_**Chapter Four: Problematic Indeed**_

Elizabeth gasped in surprise as she turned to find Aphrodite watching. The young goddess smiled good naturedly and fingered the note.

"Hmm, looks like we'll have to get testing soon."

"This is quite problematic," Elizabeth murmured, "Quite problematic indeed."  
"No duh," Aphrodite said. Elizabeth stared.

"Sorry. Sometimes, I tend to speak like I'm in the twenty-first century. It's an affect of time traveling too often."

Elizabeth nodded slowly. "Um... alright..."

"So," Aphrodite said, walking around on the ship. "What is it? Yes, no, maybe?"  
"I'll take the third one," Elizabeth said in a small voice.

Aphrodite sighed. "Everyone always does... Really, if Jack were disfigured, or maybe Will, this wouldn't be a prob-"

An evil look came upon her face, and she raised a hand.

"No!" Elizabeth cried, grabbing her arm, "Don't disfigure them!"

"All right, then, just one," Aphrodite consented. "Which one?"  
"I have to pick one?" Elizabeth sighed. She closed her eyes. Well, since he had a black heart, all Jack had going for him were his looks.

"Fine," She muttered, "Will."

"You have no idea how hard this is for me," Aphrodite said sorrowfully. "He has such an awe-inspiring body... Well, he's disfigured, would you still possibly marry him?"

"Of course!" Elizabeth cried.

"That complicates things," Aphrodite sighed, "You see, Jack got the win in looks-"

"Oh, no, they're equal there," Elizabeth smiled, "I just think that Will's heart would make up for his looks..."

"Great," Aphrodite continued, "So they tie there-which makes the looks thing utterly pointless- but you like Will's heart better. Hmm... I may have to call in a favor from Eros..."

"Eros?"  
"My son."

This of course, shocked Elizabeth, for Aphrodite looked like a teenager, much too young to be a mother...

"He's what you would call... Cupid. But he likes Eros much better, since Cupid makes him sound like a eunuch... anyway, he shoots with an arrow of love, you fall in love with the first man you see, we're done!"  
"I don't want to fall in love with the first man I see!" Elizabeth cried, "It could be Cotton! Or worse... Gibbs..."

Aphrodite shuddered appreciatively. "Very true, but... Just in case, I want him on call... Eros!"  
I man who looked like a little boy with wings and an archer's bow and arrow popped up out of thin air.

"Yes, Mother?" He asked.

"I need help to evaluate Elizabeth," Aphrodite pointed at her client. "She's very confusing, and since we both know love..."

"Ah, yes, Elizabeth Swann, correct?"  
"Yes."  
"Quite a fair maiden," Eros said, leering. This creeped Elizabeth out a bit.

"Shush,"Aphrodite hissed, slapping her son. "Don't want to frighten the poor girl. And I'm sorry, but you really aren't Adonis."

"Oh," Elizabeth said, addressing Eros. "Is Adonis your father?"  
"No," Eros said as Aphrodite blushed. "I'm not even legitimate. Aphrodite's married to Hephaestus, but Ares, my father, was one of her lovers, as was Adonis."(a/n: Of course, I find this out AFTER I change my penname, but I'm a romantic, so I'm keepin' it)  
"What do you expect from a goddess of love?" Aphrodite smirked, running her fingers through her hair.

Eros then changed the subject and began evaluating Elizabeth.

"Hmm... tricky here," He commented, "I can't tell who she loves."

"I know _who _she _loves_," Aphrodite said in a bored tone, "But not how I can help her figure it out!"

Eros looked at Elizabeth for another moment before saying, "You got me. I specialize in random, obsessive love."

And he disappeared.

"I raised a failure!" Aphrodite wailed.

"No you didn't," Elizabeth said awkwardly.

"Um, yes I did. The Goddess of Love is supposed to have at least one child that knows love properly, and I only have Eros..."(a/n: As far as I know)

"How old are you anyway?" Elizabeth asked.

"I- I don't know..." Aphrodite murmured. "I lost count after the first thousand years..."

"How were you born?"  
"More like created, but it's a long... slightly disturbing story that involves Uranus... um, let's just say that he can't have kids anymore, and the result of that was me. Though, technically, I'm a daughter of Zeus. Everybody seems to be nowadays..."

Elizabeth's jaw hung open.

"You're world is quite..."  
"Twisted? Yeah, I know."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Well, I'll update soon!**_


	5. The Tests Begin

_**Chapter Five: Beginning the Tests**_

"Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth closed her eyes, not sure of what Will would look like thanks to Aphrodite's transformation.

"Uh, why are your eyes closed?"

Slowly, one by one, she opened them, to find... a perfectly normal Will.

"What!" She yelped. A melodic laughing came from behind her, and she found Aphrodite, laughing her head off. Obviously, only Elizabeth could see her.

"I can't believe you bought that!" She chuckled, "Of course I wouldn't disfigure anyone as heavenly as Will!"

Elizabeth then felt very gullible.

"_I _can't believe you tricked me!"

"Please, I trick many people. Hephaestus never knew I wasn't the loving wife he envisioned..."

Angrily, Elizabeth ran over and tried to shove Aphrodite off the edge, but the woman simply was floating in middair.

"Goddess, remember? Oh, and by the way, everyone's staring."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"All right," Aphrodite smirked, "We are now going to begin the tests."

Elizabeth eyed Jack and Will. They were talking nearly the edge, neither of them looking at her.

That's when Aphrodite walked up behind them, whistling innocently. She tiptoed her fingers up the backs of both of the men, and before Elizabeth realized what was going on, pushed them both off at the same time.

"Oops. Better choose quickly, Elizabeth."

"No!"

Elizabetn ran to the edge and jumped off, sinking deep bellow. She blindly grabbed the nearest piece of clothing she could find, and began to swim.

"Elizabeth!"

She couldn't tell who's voice it was, and she really wasn't in the mood to try and find out, with the salt water burning her eyes.

As she was hauled up by the crew, she heard a clapping.

"Congratulations, you saved... WILL!"

Elizabeth wearily opened her eyes to find Aphrodite standing over her.

"Nice job, dearie."

"But I couldn't see!"  
"Animal instinct guided you to Will, though."

"Um... true..."

"Don't worry, that's not the only test..."

"Lovely."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elizabeth read the little piece of paper over and over again.

_Marry me, Elizabeth?_

_Jack_

She then crumbled it up in her fist, a tear running down her face. She remembered the day that Will had properly proposed to her...

_Elizabeth Swann smiled as she walked through her father's garden. It had been so long since she had been there. Really, it was her mother's, but Governor Swann just felt that he had to honor Jane by keeping it up._

_She sighed happily. It had been two weeks since she had gotten back from her 'high seas adventure' and everything had been going fine, especially her relationship with Will..._

_A tap on the shoulder brought her back to reality, and she turned to find Will._

_"I was just thinking about you," She smiled. Will grinned back._

_"Is that good or bad?"_

_"Definitely wonderful," Elizabeth murmured, resting her hands on his strong shoulders._

_"Good," Will said, satisfied, as he brushed his lips lightly against hers. She shivered a bit, the way she always seemed to when Will touched her._

_"Elizabeth..." Will sounded a bit nervous. Oh no._

_"Yes?" She asked in a shrill voice. Did he want to end their relationship already?_

_"I was wondering... how do you think things have been going with us?"_

_"Us?" She asked, "Will, they've been going brilliantly, as far as I'm concerned. You aren't having any second thoughts, are you?"  
"No, not at all," Will answered quickly. He was silent for a long moment before suddenly pointing and saying, "Look, a... thing!"_

_As Elizabeth turned(not one of her more intelligent moments) she realized that the 'thing' was probably made up, and turned back, only to find Will on one knee and saying something that sounded like:_

_"LizabethIloveyouwillyoumarryme?"_

_Of course, that was hard to decipher, so she put a hand on his shoulder again and sighed, saying, "Will. Calm down. Actual sentences this time."_

_Will took a deep breath. This time, it was very clear what he said:_

_"Elizabeth, I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?"_

_She was shocked, silent for a moment before saying in a soft voice:_

_"Yes."_

_Then, in a much louder voice:_

_"YES!"  
Will swooped her up into a kiss, and Elizabeth felt only bliss._

"Why don't I have that anymore?"


	6. Discussions

_**Chapter Six: Tortuga**_

"What are you looking for this time anyway?" Will asked, darting a nervous glance at the obese lady he had encountered on his first visit to Tortuga.

"Th-" Jack stopped himself. What _was_ he looking for? "Nothing, really. Just thought you'd want a wedding at sea."

At least, that's what he wanted Will to think.

But, you see, our Will is no idiot. OK, when it came to accepting his father's old life, he was, but overall, he was a pretty smart guy. And he had been... noticing things(a/n: Dun, dun... DUN!). Like the way Elizabeth had been so flustered around both him and Jack. How Jack was acting very 'fond' of Elizabeth. More than usual...

"Give the boy a hand," A dry, female voice said behind him.

Will turned his head, but there was no one there.

"Jack," He said casually, "You aren't... attracted to Elizabeth at all, are you?"

For some reason, something came into Jack's head. Was it... guilt? Nah, couldn't be. He was Captain Jack Sparrow. So, he dismissed it as heat stroke and decided that he needed more rum.

"Elizabeth? Of course not."

"Yeahyaare!" A female voice cough-said behind him. Hmm. She sounded oddly familar... He looked behind himself to make sure it wasn't Scarlett or Giselle. The voice obviously hadn't been either, but Scarlett, who was very angry at him(duh) went up to slap him anyway.

"Been a while, hasn't it?" She asked sweetly.

Wham!  
"That looked like it hurt," Will commented, for Scarlett had actually used a frying pan. He was about to help Jack up, but then, remembered the strange things going around. Slowly, he leaned down next to Jack's unconcious face.

"Bad luck, mate."

And walked on, wondering if hanging or stabbing would be better to kill the pirate if he _was_ trying to get Elizabeth.(a/n: Just wanted to add a bit of randomness, and I'm sure that that would've happened)

000

Meanwhile, Elizabeth was in her cabin, staring at her reflection. But not because she had a new dress or anything.

"You are so despicable," She said to herself, "Acting this way! You're going to be married! But... to whom?"

"You know," A helpful voice added, "They say talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity."

"Wonderful," Elizabeth sighed, turning, "Just what I need! Then again," She pondered, "I'm talking to a goddess. Might've been insane, anyway."

"That a girl!"

"You seem to have had this problem a lot," Elizabeth realized, "What did you do?"

Aphrodite gave her a blank look. "With which one?"  
"E-excuse me?"

"Which one?" She asked, "I personally preferred Ares and Adonis out of all of them..." She gazed off into the distance. "Quite the lookers..."

"Well then," Elizabeth sighed, "What did you do with them."

"Um... nothing really. It all kind of crashed and burned."

Elizabeth stared for a moment before collapsing onto her bed. Aphrodite waited 'til three for it, then began to count.

"Three.. Two... One...  
"How are you the goddess of love if you can't keep track of your own relationships?" Elizabeth yelled.

"Ah, that's the brilliance of it," Aphrodite smiled, "I don't _have _to. I just keep track of everyone else's."

"Then... have you ever had your heart broken? Truly?"  
There was a long silence.

"Why, yes," Aphrodite murmured, looking away. "Yes, I have. But that man, he tried to break me. He tried to break me so badly, that I couldn't TAKE IT!"

Elizabeth suddenly realized that a small fire had started out of the goddess's wrath, and it was growing. Quickly. She grabbed a pail of water and doused it out, then turned back to Aphrodite.

"Who was that man?"

Aphrodite gazed at her for a moment. "I can't tell you. Never. Never in a million years shall I tell anyone who I fell in love with. And in fact, so far, I've been keeping that vow."

000

Elizabeth tipped her hat down, hoping no man saw her. She was still dressed as woman, and she had heard of how men in Tortuga acted...

Aphrodite, who had been following her for protection, _was_ dressed as man, and really, she still looked as feminine as ever.

This was the goddess of love, for crying out loud.

Suddenly, a man blocked their path. "Sorry, lassies," He grinned drunkenly, "I can't let you go on."

"Told you the costume wouldn't work," Elizabeth muttered.

Aphrodite suddenly slipped two swords from the belts of two drunks nearby. She handed one to Elizabeth.

"True. But this might."

Both of the women stared at the man, and he simply called a friend over.

"Didn't see that coming," Aphrodite admitted, "Well, I have nothing to worry about, being immortal, but you, Lizzie, might wanna watch your back."

With that, the battle began.

Elizabeth heard the sound of her sword clinking with the other man's, and was quite happy that Will had taught her how to fight.

"OW!"

She turned to see Aphrodite clutching her side. Blood seeped through her fingers.

For a minute, that is.

The wound suddenly healed up, reminding Elizabeth of Barbossa and his crew. Aphrodite smirked at her opponent, and was about to attack him again when-

"OOF!"

Both man fell to the ground, and Will and Jack dusted themselves off, looking triumphant. Both had just dropped from the roofs, and Jack, being afraid of heights, was quite proud of this.

"You know," He commented, "I could have sworn that this lass was injured just a moment ago."

000

_**OK, what was your fav line from that chapter? Just wanna see if you like serious or humor better... R and R!**_


	7. Don't, Do!

_**Chapter Seven: Do, Don't!**_

Aphrodite quickly lowered her hat to cover her face, something that Elizabeth found suspicious.

Gee, wonder why?

"Injured... uh, no, I wasn't injured!"

"Excellent liar," Will commented, arching an eyebrow.

"What do we do?" Elizabeth hissed out of the corner of her mouth.

"Well, I could smite him, but then Daddy would fire me!"

_"Daddy?"_

"Zeus, remember? Weren't you paying ANY attention to me while I gave you my sick and twisted life story? And anyway, it's your fault!"

"How is my fault?"

" 'Oh, we need to follow them, they've been taking sooo long' " Aphrodite wailed in a mocking voice.

As the two argued, Jack and Will were taking care of important business.

"Five shillings on the new girl," Will decided. Jack looked defeated. He had been about to bet on her! Guess Will wasn't as innocent as he thought..

You see, the two were betting on who would win if it came to a catfight. Jack had thought that Will, being Will, would bet on Liz, but sadly, he had been wrong. Still... he had to look smart.

"Not so loyal, are we?" He grinned.

Will looked guilty.

"I've seen Elizabeth fight! She can't take a punch!

"What about that time-"

"I helped."

Of course, they hadn't noticed that for the last thirty seconds, Aphrodite and Liz had been watching them. Jack, knowing the wrath of females first hand, changed the subject.

"You seem familar," He commented, looking at Aphrodite.

"Don't!" She cried.

"Do!" Jack yelled back.

"Don't!"

"Do!"

"Don't!"

"Do!

"Don't!"

Jack got a sly look on his face.

"Don't!"

"D-" Aphrodite stopped herself. "I know that one!"  
Jack cursed under his breath.

"Look," Will said, "Obviously, this girl has some deep psychological problems with Jack, so I think that we shouldn't explore her issues."

Crickets chirped until Aphrodite interrupted.

"Thank you, Dr. Phil."

Long silence.

"Who is this 'Dr. Phil' you speak of?" Jack asked.

"Oh... Sorry, you don't have Dr. Phil yet. Or... do you? I mean, the guy's pretty old..." Aphrodite pondered this for a moment before continuing. "He's a know-it-all bald guy."

"Like Father!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"I think we should cut to the chase," Will sighed, "Do you two know each other?"

"No!"

"Yes!"

Jack and Aphrodite said at the same time.

"I just... I just don't know who she is..." Jack muttered. Before the woman could run, he walked up to her and sweeped the hat off. His eyes widened.

"Aphrodite!"  
She blushed and giggled nervously. "Jack! Long time... no see..."

Elizabeth tried to piece things together...

"Wait! Is Jack your long lost love?"

Jack and Aphrodite stared.

And both started laughing.

"So, 'Dite-" Jack began to change the subject, but was cut off.

" 'DITE?"

"Nickname," 'Dite responded(AN: that's so much easier to write!)

"As I was saying," Jack said, "How's life been for ya?"

"Aaah..." She seemed undecided, "Hephaestus caught me with Adonis again, yelled at me, passed out, the usual."

"Same here," Jack sighed, "Barbossa stole the ship, I got it back-"

"Jack. Goddess, remember?"

"Oh. Yeah."

"Goddess?" Will croaked.

"Yep," Jack shrugged.

"That's... nice. And Elizabeth? You knew and didn't tell us?"

"Well..." Elizabeth was struggling, so Aphrodite cut in for her.

"Elizabeth needs help with her wedding, and Hera was busy-you know, goddess of women and marriage?- so I filled in for her."

"All right."

For some odd reason, the guys took this rather nicely.

"So. A goddess."

"Uh-huh!"  
000

_**R and R! So, do you think I should put in a bit of Jack/'Dite? Maybe not permanently, but for fun? **_


	8. Mr Washington

_**Chapter Eight: Mr. Washington**_

"So." Will said. "Let me get this straight. What kind of goddess are you?"

"Greek," 'Dite answered casually, quickly avoiding a drunken man stumbling toward her. "Aphrodite. Daughter of Zeus, goddess of love, beauty, all that junk that I really shouldn't be answering."

"What I want to know," Elizabeth said, sitting down in a messy chair. "Is how you and Jack know each other."

"What _I _want to know," Jack said, ordering some rum from the bartender. "Is how you know her."

Elizabeth blushed and looked at Aphrodite for help. The goddess narrowed her eyes.

"Hey. I just test you. Not help you."

A look of genius came upon her face.

"Wait!" She cried. "I know!"

She reached into her pocket and drew out a coin. It was silver in color, and had a man with a wig similar to Norrington's on the front.

"What's that?" Will asked. 'Dite was silent for a moment, looking thoughtful.

"This is a quarter," She began. "A complex future machine." She pointed to the man. "I would like to introduce you to Mr. Washington. Now, one of you will call heads as I flip the coin. if it lands on heads and you called it, you get to choose who tells their story. If it lands tails and you didn't call heads, you get to choose. Now, if you disobey this, Mr. Washington will... become an ax murderer and kill you."

"Mr. Washington?" Will asked.

"Ax murderer?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Rum?" Jack suggested.

Stares.

"I do not have a problem," Jack declared. At least, that's what this author _thinks _he said. It kind of came out as, 'By glu blub have a problublema,' because of the large amount of rum spilling out of his mouth.

"OK," 'Dit said slowly. "Jack. There's something in the future called rehab. I think you need it."

"Can we just flip the stupid coin?" Elizabeth yelled.

"Geez," 'Dite muttered. "What's her problem?" She skillfully flipped the coin.

"Healbs!" Jack blubbered.

"I think that was heads," Will translated doubtfully.

The coin, unfortunately, went flying onto the floor, where a drunken man picked it up, glanced at it, and then quickly stuffed it in his pocket. He soon got in a fight with someone over it, and was the first man to ever have a peg leg!

But that's a different story.

"Oops," Aphrodite said, watching the coin fly away.

"I'd hate to see you with a pistol," Will commented.

"All right," Jack said drunkenly. "What do we do now?"

Three minutes later.

"Now!" Aphrodite cried.

"Rock, paper, scissors," Jack and Elizabeth chanted together.

"Oops. Looks like you both got rock."

"Mine's a boulder!" Jack protested. "Hers is a pebble."

"Come on, Jack," Will said. "It's not Elizabeth's fault that she was born handicapped with tiny hands."

"I was-"

Aphrodite banged her head against the table.

"Rock. Paper. Scissors."

Quickly, the two repeated the game. Elizabeth gave a cry of joy.

"I won!"

"Wait," Jack said. "Don't scissors cut pa-"

Aphrodite, deciding to help Elizabeth to save her friendship with Jack, cut in. "Not in the future. In the future, paper is made of steel."

"All right..."

And Jack began his story.

_Twelve years ago..._

_The brave ship captain stood on top of his ship, carefully scouring the seas. The storm blew across his ruggedly handsome face, irrisistible to any woman-_

_**"That's not how I remember it!"**_

**"'Dite, it's my story-"**

_**"It's OUR story, last time I checked. I'LL tell them that one."**_

_Jack Sparrow-_

**"CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow."**

_**"Fine. Just shut up."**_

_**CAPTAIN **Jack Sparrow walked up the stairs onto the deck, bottle of rum in his hand, slightly drunken look on his face._

**"Hurumph."**

_**"If you can't pay the time, don't do the crime."**_

_"The seas are rough tonight, Cap'n," His first mate, Barbossa-_

**"CURSE THAT SCUM TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN-"**

_**"Get over it."**_

_His first mate, Barbossa, declared. The captain stumbled closer to him. _

_"We will go on anyway!" He yelled. "I want to find that island?"_

_  
"Apple?" Barbossa asked weakly, offering the healthy snack to Jack._

_"No thanks. Rum?"_

_"Er..."_

_Barbossa, figuring that SOMEBODY had to stay sober on this ship, wandered away. Meanwhile, the captain walked over to the edge of the ship. At that very moment, a gigantic wave crashed crashed into the Black Pearl._

_"Cap'n!" Barbossa cried, running to the deck. Of course, no one knew that the mate would be betraying his captain two years later, the son of a-_

_**"Jack. Stop rambling."**_

**"Hurumph."**

_But it was too late, and Jack's mind was weakened by the rum, a vile drink that-_

**"Stop rambling yourself."**

_Anyway. He began to sink. But deep below the ocean, there was activity._

_x_

_"Uncle Poseidon!" Aphrodite begged. "Can I please stay here for just a bit?"_

_"You are not an ocean goddess, Aphrodite," Poseidon declared._

_Aprhodite narrowed her eyes._

_Little did he know..._

_"But Daddy's making me so upset with all that fighting with Hera about Apollo and Artemis's mother. You know, the one that Hera cursed for eternity?"_

_"ANOTHER ONE?" Poseidon cried. He really was a fatherly merman, and was worrying about the affect this would have on his other nieces and nephews. I mean, look how Aphrodite turned out._

_**"Hey!"**_

**"Let's see. Adonis, Ares-"**

_"Fine," He sighed. "You can stay here awhile."_

_But Aphrodite's eyes were fixed on the figure sinking slowly through the waves._

_"What's that?" She asked._

_"Oh. Another drowning soul."_

_"Hmm..."_

_  
Now, there was nothing Aphrodite liked more than a handsome man. And this man, was, admittedly, not bad-looking at all.  
_**"Not at all."**

_**"Vain pirate."**_

_She began to swim up toward the figure, reaching out to grab him. He was unconcious, and since mortals couldn't breathe underwater, Aphrodite took his head, brought her lips to his, and breathed into his mouth, hoping that it would work and give him the temporary power to breathe underwater._

_The man's eyes opened, and he looked upon the face of beauty._

_**"Tee-hee."**_

**"WHAT? Can't a man have a romantic side?"**

xxx

_**R and R! Who do you like better, Aphrodite or Liz?**_


	9. Teach

_**Chapter Nine: Teach**_

"And so-yes, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth put her raised tiny hand down. "Um, I was just wondering... will you two stop fighting so that we can get on with the story?"

"I think our _arguing," _Aphrodite defended. "Brings a certain charm to the story, a certain... what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Charisma," Jack put in wisely.

"Yes, charis-"

She cut herself off, and the whole table stared at Jack.

"Jack," 'Dite asked in a shaky voice. "Where did you learn big words like that?"

"Well," Jack answered in his best educated tone. "Ana taught me-well, tried. I can spell it too."

"You can?" Will's eyes were huge.

"Yes I can. K-A-"

"Moment's over," Elizabeth sighed. Aphrodited was just shocked that Jack got the 'A' right. Will was crushed.

"I really thought he would be able to do it..."

"Sometimes," Elizabeth muttered. "Things just lift you up, and send you crashing down..."

And Jack? The incredible man who knew what charisma was? He was wondering how much this was going to cost him, and how much of the puppy eyes he needed to employ in order for Aphrodite to pay. Then again, she would shoot her version of the puppy eyes to him, and that had gotten her into several affairs...

"So," He began. "As we were saying-"

"Excuse me."

They all turned to see a tall man with a very long **_black beard_** staring at them. There was a long, awkward silence. The man took in the fact that two women, one dressed as a man, were causing lots of issues.

"Now, I hope you don't mind me asking," Aphrodite started politely. "But when was the last time you got a shave?"

The man glared at her, and continued stiffly. "Teach," He said, introducing himself by last name.

Unfortunately, a few people who have not seen 'Teach' on the _Discovery Channel _had no idea what was going on.

"Teach what?" Will asked. "Because Jack has limited intelligence."

"Teach-" Teach started over again, but...

"Yes, we've already clarified that you want us to teach you something," Jack said kindly. "But what?"

"I meant-"

"We know what you mean," Elizabeth assured him gently. The Golden Trio was really starting to think that this man was confused.

"MY NAME IS TEACH, DARN IT!" Teach yelled. All looked very angry at this.

"No need to get touchy," Jack muttered. And so it started again, 'Dite snickering in the background. After a while, Teach was able to get a word in, since Jack was being offered cheese.

Yes, our brave pirate was lactose intolerant.

"I'm a privateer-" He began again, but this time, it was a couple of pistols he was facing. "I'm guessing you don't like them," He continued slowly.

"Not really," Will grinned.

"Nah," Jack agreed.

Aphrodite suddenly had an idea. The three others watched as she whispered something in Jack's ear, Jack whispered something back, she slapped him, and he shut up and listened. Finally, he turned to Teach.

"Teach," Jack chuckled. "Have you ever thought of being a pirate?"

"Not really," Teach answered. "What with my poetry-"

Stares.

"-I mean, swordfighting lessons, I can barely get a moment in!" He then took out a little book.

"Teach invented the day planner," 'Dite explained.

"Well..." Teach looked confused. "How about this? I can be a Pirate Tuesdays through Fridays from ten thirty a.m. to five p.m."

"Perfect," Aphrodite grinned.

"I'll be a pirate!" Teach grinned.

"You'll be a pirate!" Aphrodite agreed.

"I'll sail the seven seas!"

"You'll stay away from my ship," Jack put in.

"I'll be a free man!"

"You'll get decapitated and have your head hung to the ship!"

More stares, this time at 'Dite.

"I mean... kill things!"

"AYE!" The room chorused.

"So," Jack said. "'Dite here thinks you should have a name. A 'special name'. So. Let's think of it."

Jack, who had been playing with his pistol, accidently pulled the trigger. Luckily, only a few flames went off. But they caught Teach's beard on fire.

Aphrodite whispered something else in Jack's ear. He nodded.

"Aye!" He cried. "You look like you have Satan's beard!" He sounded as if he were reading from a script.

"Really?"

Teach was a gullible man.

"Aye!"

"Can we get him a name and get it done with?" Liz sighed. At that moment, Teach's entire beard was engulfed by flames. He got a strange look in his eyes.

"FIRE!"

That's when they started to think of names.

"Firebeard!" Elizabeth cried.

"Badshotbeard!" Will yelled. Jack thumped him on the back of the head.

"Pyrobeard!" Jack slurred.

Aphrodite banged her head against the table. Teach began to run around and bump into things in his insane pyro-ness.

"What color is his beard, people?" Aphrodite asked tiredly.

"Right now, fire colored."

"What was it like before?"

Teach halted. "I like to call it a midnight raven colo-"

"Shut up, Teach."

He resumed the running.

"Oh! PICK ME!" Jack yelled.

"Yes?"

"Black. His beard was black."

"I like midnight raven better," Elizabeth muttered.

"So," Aphrodite sighed. "What do we call him?"

"Blackbeard!"

"Riiight..."

Being a goddess was a tough job. After Teach ran screaming out of the area, they were about to start the story again, when a busty blond bartender named Mary-Sue started to flirt with Jack and Will.

"Maybe I don't have to make my decision," Elizabeth grumbled.

"Don't worry," 'Dite smirked. "They'll be running off in five. Four. Three. Two. One..."

Jack and Will were back, looking very scared.

"She said that her mother was a mermaid, and her dad was pirate hunter," Jack mumbled.

"That would be a Sue!"

xxx

_**R and R!**_


End file.
